NEW YEARS EVOLUTIONFri, 01/02/2009 - 08:27
Kay, it's that time of year when we all are thinking about how we're supposed to be making a bunch of stinking New Years resolutions that we're never going to keep and that are just going to make us feel bad about ourselves for the next year.
Well my first New Years Evolution is to stop feeling bad about myself for any of my shortcomings - just let that go. But first I have to do a very un-male thing and accept that I actually have a shortcoming or two. Let me have a peek....yikes! I do. I gots some. Damn. So much for that mask of rigid perfection I thought I had to wear.
Hey - its actually kind of relaxing to drop that. Let's you breathe a little easier. So- I herby accept my weak spots, I hereby see my blind spots, I hereby love my broken bits. I accept them, love them, and love myself. It's okay male ego - you aren't perfect. You got spots. You got dots. You got some work to do.
So my next New Years Evolution is to shine a light into my shadows, light a torch into my unconscious, and see all of me, the dark and the light, the good, the bad and the ugly, and allow myself the room to grow. I hereby renew my fierce commitment to evolution. Spiritual evolution.
I hereby commit myself to energetic integrity...to being aware of not just my speech, and my thought and actions, but to how my energy moves in the world. I renew my committment to moving from a place of Love - and letting that Love come from the deepest well of my being, from a place of absolute freedom - freedom for myself, and freedom for everyone who comes into my path. I commit to becoming aware of when, even on the subtlest levels, my energy shifts from one of power with, to power over. This is something we men have to really learn, and work on, cause the patriarchy has dug deep into our souls, and carved out a swampy sludge that needs constant clearing. But women get snared by the inner patriarch too.
I invite the Divine She in, with awe and gratitude, to help clear away every last vestige of oily patriarchal residue from within me, and those around me - men and women both - free us from the hypnotizing lies of domination and destruction, of fear and manipulation, so we can reclaim our souls, our selves, our lives and our planet and walk again in creativity and wonder, in collaboration and delight, in hope and inspiration, thank you, thank you, thank you for this incredible world.
I invite the Divine He in, to re-ignite in me an understanding of what the true masculine is, the loving masculine, the giving masculine, the healing masculine, the empowering, powerful, free and spacious masculine.
This Space Free.
I commit to clearing, and re-clearing, to calling the divine in, moment by moment, day by day, to serving with all my power, from a place of loving power, helping to be a source of radiance in this world, and not a force of depletion. To inspire and awaken in me the highest truth, to be a solar powered bio fueled love bug in this world of turmoil and transformation.
I commit to stop using the phrase "in this world of turmoil and transformation" all the time.
I commit to loosening up, to laughing a lot more, to not making so many commitments all the time, especially on New Years, when it's such an obvious thing to do, instead to cover it all in one foul swoop and say: I commit to coming from the deepest place of authenicity I possibly can, at all times, and when I forget and my ego takes over, to bouncing back as soon as I notice, or until someone I love tells me to wake the fuck up. I commit to saying, "thank you" when they do, unless it gets over the top and too damn much in which case, in the interests of self love, I commit to walking away, with my heart full of love, from any situation, relationship or scenario which is just not good for me.
I commit to opening my heart wide, to being truly spacious, to letting go, to not holding on, to not taking, to not grasping, to not clinging, to allowing what is to be, and what isn't to not be, to allowing what wants to be to manifest without trying to outthink, double think, or triple think the divine, to getting out of my own way so the universe can do it's part, to doing my part, to loving the process, to seeing it all as a process, to not obsessing on the goal, to lighting my bonfire and burning down the house, till there's nothing left but love and ashes, and building it all up, over and over again, each beautiful castle nothing more than a glittering wedding cake to the divine, offered with love to the whole party, no guest list needed, with fearless surrender and profound willfulness, secure in the knowledge that all is good, all is good, all is good.
I swear I'm not just making idle promises here, but really laying it on the line - the time has come to let loose the full potential that I was gifted with here on this earth, this one precious and wild life as they say, to really live it, seize it by the cojones and dare to stare into the sun with my eyes glowing fierce and uninhibited and reverently irreverent, fearless and truthful, joyous and mournful, tasting the agonizing ecstasy that is life on earth with every pore of my body, mind and spirit sizzling, sizzling, sizzling. Let nothing stop me, not even the cynics and the killjoys who would piss on my parade, not the gatekeepers who have locked their own gates, not the gates I myself have locked, let me blow up them all to smithereens with divine inspiration, smash down the old altars, tear down the walls, gleefully, lovingly, unstoppable. Sizzling, sizzling, sizzling.